Unconventional Love
by BubblyCutey
Summary: Does it matter how you fall in love, only that you do?
1. Chapter 1

Roxas was going to do it.

Alone.

In the darkness.

But for the freedom, he would do anything.

He felt the blood rush to his head as his breath came in exhilarated pants. Was this really happening? Was he finally going to do it?

Roxas steeled his resolve. He hadn't come this far, walked and pondered until he finally settled down in a dark alley in the middle of the night with a knife, to give up and go home.

He would never go home again.

Roxas lifted the blade and his breath hissed as the cold metal rubbed against his skin, penetrating.

Saving.

Warm fluid gushed against the metal, spilling against his pale skin. It glistened black in the moonlight. Roxas thought it was fitting- the darkness inside of him was finally exiting, one way or another.

He preferred this way.

Roxas grasped the blade, switching it to his other hand. It was slick and warm with blood, and as he struck down against his it skin it slipped from his grasp, running down his skin. The blade tumbled to the floor and Roxas cursed as it clanged loudly against the pavement. He hoped no one had heard, but what sane person would walk into an alley in the middle of the night?

Roxas stared down at the long arc that stretched from his wrist and carving down to his elbow. At least he wouldn't have to worry about a scar, Roxas chuckled darkly.

He lifted the blade with more purpose this time, slicing cleanly. It hurt, but the pain dulled as the blood pumped through the long, vertical slash. Roxas stared at the endless river that was dripping all over him, silken and falling freely across his clothes.

Roxas dropped the blade as his hands tingled and leaned against the dirty pavement. He let the moon caress his body during the last moments of his life.

...

Roxas was struck with he urge to sleep. The throb that had once filled his entire body slowly dulled to a stop as warmth his body instead of filling it. He felt cold. His eyes began to flutter shut, the moon no longer keeping a hold on his stiff body.

His fingers stroked the blade, the motion setting him deeper within his endless sleep. It wouldn't be long now- before his body began to completely shut down, Roxas though.

Before he would be free.

...

Roxas had planned everything, from the date and time to the how and where he would do it. He didn't want to leave anything to chance.

He hadn't planned on Axel.


	2. Mint

The breeze smelled of mist. The decay of the alleyway was stifling and pungent, yet the stench was overwhelmed by the smell of fresh mint leaves.

Roxas' breath became slow and laborious, every gasp of air taking his entire reserve of strength to complete. His body was ache, and he let his body completely numb in his daze.

Was it worth it?

Roxas tried to ponder it , but his thoughts slipped away from him like blood through his fingers.

"Man, this curiosity is going to kill me someday." Roxas should have panicked at the sound of footsteps approaching him, but he couldn't bring himself to care. He just wanted to sleep. "Eh, who cares. If it's worth killing over, it's worth dying to see." Roxas dimly heard a deep, throaty laugh the suddenly cut short as a shadow loomed over him. Roxas' eyes opened and he blinked many times to clear his head, looking up at what seemed to be an angel. His face stood starkly and beautiful against the moon, bright green eyes staring intently at him. "Fuck." Roxas let his eyes close, and felt warm hands grasp his body and a sudden tightness around his wrists.

Roxas lay limply as the hands quickly set out to undo everything Roxas had planned. He could do nothing but lay there, hoping and praying that the god that never listened would finally let him die in peace.

...

Warmth. Throbbing.

Reality came back slowly and painfully, as it always does when you sleep peacefully and finally realize that it was only a dream.

That it will only ever be a dream.

His eyes opened apprehensive, wondering where he was. Roxas stretched, his body sore and achy as he eyed the lilac room.

"Try not to move that much. You'll break your stitches." Roxas' eyes show toward the voice as he realized that it was coming from the foot of his bed. He felt an unnoticed weight lift off of his legs as a shock of red hair moved, vibrant in the dull room. The boy appeared to be a bit older than Roxas, tall and lanky, and his dazzling eyes were shadowed with what seemed to be a lack of sleep.

Fucker, Roxas thought. This was who brought him back.

The night had been a fuzzy mixture, his memories trailing in and out of a red haired boy standing over him, pressing a needle under his skin and threading it out, covering him gently.

Roxas didn't need that.

Roxas tried to sit up, but his head spun. He glared as the boy raised his eyebrows, and Roxas staggered forward. His body was stiff and unwilling to accommodate the sudden movement, but Roxas had to leave.

The boy stood up and stretched as Roxas fumbled past him. He put his arm on Roxas' shoulder, his grasp firm and unyielding. "I don't think you should be moving so soon. You need to rest." Roxas rolled his eyes, but when he attempted to speak his voice was hoarse. "Try not to talk, either. I've been trying to pump fluids in you, but you're still a bit dehydrated."

Roxas cleared his throat, but his voice came out rough and dry. "I'd rather just leave, thanks." The boy smelled of mint, Roxas thought. But he needed to leave, no matter how kind or caring the stranger. It was not the boy's life to interfere with.

The boy smiled foxily, his features sharpening with the curl of his mouth. "And go where?" Roxas averted his eyes, losing the hard gaze he was hoping to use to weaken the boy's resolve.

He would go back to the alley.

At this point, any sharp object would do, especially with the state he was in.

"I can't stay here. I need to... meet up with someone." Roxas lied. He was a horrible liar, but in this case he was planning on meeting Death. Half truths never hurt anyone, Roxas told himself.

"This is my house. You're my guest. And you're going to stay here, conscious or not." Roxas opened his mouth to protest, but was pushed back into the bed. "Sleep. I'll be back in a few hours to bring you food. I'll assume you're not allergic to anything, but I'll prepare something else as a fail-safe." The boy stood up swiftly, and headed toward the white door, only looking back as he unlocked it.

"My name is Axel." The boy smiled softly before closing the door behind him, and Roxas felt a wave of nausea pulsing to his head as he leaned back.

He didn't miss the sound of a door locking.

...

_Review?_


	3. Reality

Reality.

The truths that no one wishes to face.

The pain and the cruelty that veil the beauty beneath.

It takes strength to not look past the pain, but to look it in the eye. To accept it.

To finally see what was beyond our grasp.

Happiness.

...

Roxas' eyes wandered along the ceiling, wondering what he should be doing. Attempting to escape?

No, it was to soon for that. If he did, Axel's security would only tighten and he would never be able to leave, to finish what he started. He needed to let the other boy's guard down. With his luck, maybe Axel was a serial killer and would end Roxas' life for him.

Roxas' fingers tapped against the bed in a familiar rhythm, calming his senses.

He would relax. Appear level-headed.

And run.

Roxas felt anger course through his veins.

He was done pretending, wasn't he? That's why he went out there that night. The nightmare that was his life- he didn't want to fake a smile, to pretend to feel something that had left him so long ago. To have everyone around him believe that he was normal, happy, when all along he simply wanted it to end.

He could attack the boy, catch him by surprise, make a run for it- no. Roxas sighed.

He had to pretend, if he would ever get through this. He neither had the strength nor the knowledge of where he was to be able to get through this. His body was weak and he had no idea where he was.

One last time, a few more fake smiles, and he would finally be able to quell the anger burning through him.

Break through Axel's barriers, make him weak.

Hide from reality.

And be free.

Roxas felt his eyes close lazily, his body being pulled downwards from pure exhaustion and having nothing to do.

He let himself fall under the waves of sleep.

...

_Review?_


	4. Freedom

Freedom.

Is it an illusion, or a reality? Can we ever truly be free?

Are we free in our actions, or are they chained by our past?

Are we free in our words, or are they lead to us by what other have drilled into our minds?

Even in our deaths, are we free?

...

Axel unlocked the door, letting it whirl open as he surveyed the room. He wasn't stupid- he wouldn't walk in there without knowing where the boy was, and if the boy was going to attack him in attempts to get free.

He didn't know the boy. He couldn't tell how deparate the boy was, and he wasn't willing to take that chance. Trust was earned, not given.

Axel knew that what he was doing was wrong. He knew that he shouldn't have taken the boy, shouldn't have used his blood to keep a boy that wanted to be dead alive.

But he was a type O. Axel's blood fit everyone.

Hospitals... they wouldn't do anything. The poor boy would be sent to some psych ward, frozen and zombified to satify the others that they were "doing" something- keeping them alive.

That wasn't living, when they filled you with drugs.

Axel didn't know if what he was doing was any better.

But he would try.

Axel sighed in relief as he eyed a sleeping form on his bed. He wanted the boy to have some time to himself, and the more the better. He didn't want to startle the boy, to make him fear him and close himself off.

Axel wanted to help him.

To give him a reason to live.

Axel lifted the tray he was holding, his muscles stretching and flexing with use. He placed it next to the boy, on the nightstand, and was considering leaving a note when the boy shuffled and moaned in bed.

The boy's eye opened blearily, the other one shut. Axel grinned. If anything, people were more submissive when they were sleepy. He squatted next to the boy, his head at the boy's eye level. "Hey, kid." He whispered gently. "What's your name?" He smiled slightly, careful not to appear predatory. The boy blinked a few times, and Axel wasn't sure if the boy was awake enough to understand him.

The boy huffed in his semi-concious state, his breathing slow and leasuirly. "'S... 's Roxas."

Axel couldn't help the smile that streched his face. "Roxas, huh?" Axel fought the urge to ruffle the boy's head. Roxas was in a bad state, and he didn't want to pressure the boy. "Well, Roxas, I left you some soup. Go back to sleep and eat when you wake up." The boy's blinks became longer, and his eyes became less focused.

"Mhhmmmm..." The boy purred, his eyes falling shut one last time.

Axel let the smile overtake his face. The boy was adorable.

Death wishing, but adorable.

Axel wouldn't mind keeping him for company, not regretting having picked up the poor boy when he was blood-coated and cold. He stood up, and headed to the door. He hear the boy mumble in his sleep, something about not leaving him. Axel's smile cut short as he remembered the seriousness of the situation. He pulled back, running his hand's over Roxas' cover. He hoped that the boy would feel him, understand that he wasn't alone.

Axel tucked the cover under the boy's chin, and returned to the door. He watched the boy shuffle one last time before he closed the door behind him, hating that he had to leave the boy alone when he was vulnerable but understanding that he needed space.

Eventually, Axel would finally begin to help the boy.

He was determined to.

He would give the boy freedom from his nightmares.

...

_I don't know how you feel or what you think. Please, just review._


	5. Burning

Roxas' body burned. He ached everywhere, his skin feeling hot and clammy yet freezing cold at the same time.

His eyes fluttered open, the world dropping into place as his eyes cleared, his head filling with an intense thumping. He groaned, trying to roll on his side before giving up and lying still. He attempted to lift his hands, but an intense pain shot through them. Bandages wound their way around his skin, tinted red with trickling blood.

The aroma of food was finally recognized, and Roxas' stomach grumbled hungrily. Was that... chicken noodle soup? He smiled, his lips cracking painfully as he realized the situation he was in.

He shouldn't eat. He shouldn't even be alive. Besides, who knew what was in that soup? The boy had certainly been kind, giving him a place to stay, but Roxas knew that... Axel... wanted something in return.

They always did.

A sigh slipped out of Roxas' lips as he steeled himself, waiting for the red-head's return.

He had nothing else to look forward to, anyway.

...

Axel understood. He knew just how hard the boy would pretend to be okay, so that he could run back into that alley like a scared rabbit.

He had seen it before.

He never wanted to see it again.

Axel grinned. If anything, he'd be real. He'd joke and laugh but be real with the boy, never giving up until Roxas finally left that facade behind. He had learned.

He'd help the boy fight it.

Like he should have done before.

Axel ran his fingers through his hair chuckling to himself. He couldn't have those thoughts while trying to save someone else, right? Dark memories never saved anyone, and Axel would do everything in his power to do just that.

Whistling a piano tune he had heard a long time ago, Axel pulled himself off of the couch and headed towards Roxas' room. It was about time the boy had gotten up, and while the boy needed space he also needed a push into the right direction.

The melody looped endlessly, twirling through his mind as he approached the room, a smile lighting his face. He would do whatever it took- comforting the boy, or even pissing him off until the boy was pushed into speaking the truth, Axel would do it.

Besides, Roxas looked cute as he slept, Axel thought slyly.

...

Roxas' eyes shot open as the door squeaked open. A sweet tune had been playing in the distance for a while, and it had lulled him into a drowsy nap despite Roxas' efforts to stay awake.

Roxas took in everything. The bright hair, the symbols beneath the boy's eyes. The grin on his face despite the grim situation, so soon after having saved his life. The lanky, thin stature, his relaxed posture.

Hate rushed through his veins as he smiled softly, playing nice. How badly he wanted to run, to make that boy pay for what he did to him. Instead, he bode his time. Planning. Every word careful. He could do this- it was what he had done for his entire life.

"...H-hi." Axel looked over him again, as if suddenly realizing that the boy could talk. Roxas felt irritation flood through him.

Axel walked over to him, not saying a word as he reached Roxas' bed. Wait- not Roxas' bed. The place where Roxas slept.

There was a great difference.

Axel leaned closer and closer to the boy, and Roxas bit back a hiss as those sparkling green eyes met his own. He felt his head sink deeper and deeper into his pillow, pulling away from the strange boy in front of him.

Silence eased its way between them, only their breaths fighting back.

"Y'know..." Roxas' breath froze within his throat as the boy finally spoke, his voice strong and calming. He knew that the boy was attractive, and his voice only added to the appeal, but to hell if he was going to like the person that had stopped his freedom. "You have a really bad poker face..."

Roxas felt his eyes widen. Damn. "I don't know what you're talking about..." Roxas tried to turn his surprise into an innocent gaze, eyes wide and adorable. People always swooned over those, and he had used them plenty of times to hide the truth. It's not like the opinions of other mattered to him, but he needed something from this boy- along with all the others- that could only be achieved if he fought back against the truth a little more. It was always worth the little lies.

The boy's grin widened. "You have a really bad poker face. You can't lie for shit, and especially not to me. I can read faces a mile away. Remember that, next time you try to pretend." Axel rocked back on his feet, stepping away from the smaller form laying on the bed. Roxas felt a chuckle worm his way into his throat.

He couldn't help it. No one had ever called him out on his lies- they preferred to pretend that unhappiness didn't exist. They settled for the lies, to make their own lives easier. Yet here this strange person was, picking up his bloody body and reading through him. Roxas decided that while the boy could use some decision making skills, he wasn't a bad talker. Especially with that voice...

Roxas' laughter bubbled out as Axel's eyebrows shot up in confusion. The laughter choked a bit through his sore body, but was definitely real. Soon, the pain flared in his body and the laughter transformed into a painful cough and Roxas clutched his body as his throat seized. Axel grabbed a bowl from the side of Roxas' bed and placed it in front of him, gesturing towards it as he lay it on the bed. "Are you okay? You need to eat something. This is soup, but without the noodles or anything because your body might not be able to process it so soon into your recovery and I didn't want to..." Axel trailed off as Roxas' coughing subsided and the form shook his head.

Roxas couldn't forget. Even in the laughter, there was a pain beyond just his body. A shadow building up inside, eating him from the inside out. "I'm not... hungry." He forced out of his lips, the words were painful as his body seemed to wither away.

He heard Axel sigh from above him, the warm breath coasting along his lying body. "You know what? I don't really care. You're going to eat anyway." His mind recoiled at the force behind the words, never having been really told to do anything before and never with such neediness within the words.

No one had ever cared enough.

"No." The words left his mouth before his brain could form coherent sentences. What was he doing? The boy would never let him leave at this rate! But then again... if he had proved to be difficult enough...

The boy would stop caring, like all those before him.

An evil smile wormed itself onto his mouth, not wanting to do this but knowing that he needed to. To save himself, to free himself, he would have to bring hell to the boy who had shown him nothing but kindness.

But Roxas had never asked for kindness.

"I'm not eating. I'd like to go home now." Roxas straight ahead at the wall in front of him, refusing to look Axel in the eye. He needed to be forceful himself, he decided. "Now."

"Didn't we go over this already? I'm not letting you give up your life so quickly. I'll show you a whole new world, one that you'll want to live for. I promise." Axel's voice was thick with emotion, spilling out into those words. "At the very least... eat. That's so important. Once you eat, you can think things over again. If you don't want to stay with my after a few days, once you're physically better, then we can talk it over, okay? Just... eat."

Roxas didn't know if he wanted to cry or to unleash a powerful retort. He didn't know if he was insulted or flattered, happy that someone finally, after all these years _cared _or sad because it couldn't be real.

He had given up a long time ago.

Roxas couldn't help it. He looked up, and saw those eyes stare down at him with such hope and empathy that he didn't know what to do. He wanted to say he was sorry, to yell at the boy, to run and hide and to stay and be held.

Roxas didn't know what to do anymore.

"Please." The word was torn in half, Axel's voice cracking before he had finished. Roxas watched as those eyes bore down on him, begging him to say yes. To give in. To just...

Roxas didn't know what he wanted in life.

His eyes slid down onto the mattress, looking away from the pitiful eyes that made him want to comfort the boy. He bit down on his resolve, and hissed as his hand strained to lift itself up against it's stiffness. His hand shakily grasped for the spoon, averting his eyes as he lifted the liquid out and brought it to his lips. "Whatever."

Roxas didn't know if he hated himself for giving in like this, but he had hated himself anyway.

A few regrets wouldn't change anything, since he was going to die anyway.

...

Axel's head leaned against the doorway as it slid shut behind him. He didn't mean to be so forceful, to say those things. His mind clouded. He let emotions overtake him. The will not to eat... brought back memories. Axel fought the urge to vomit, his breath raspy as he panted against the cold door.

He wanted to help Roxas. He needed to be clear headed. But... hadn't those emotions make the boy eat? Axel could describe how happy he was as the boy reached for the bowl, his eyes burning with an intense confusion and fight within himself.

Axel was glad that the side he was on had won. There was a long way to go, but now he had a direction.

He could do this.

Axel would help the boy win.

...

_I don't... These are real feelings, I suppose. I want to understand how you feel about this as well. _

_Review, please. _


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